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Friday 6 March 2020

Writing - The ANZAC Violin - My Diary Entry

WALT Use descriptive language

In class we've been reading a story called "The ANZAC Violin". For writing our task was to write a diary entry. 

A guy named Alexander Aitken was a student who had been in the war during 1915. A friend of his gifted him a violin, when he was in the war, he had this violin with him. 

When he died, the school he went to took the violin. And it is now on display at his school, Otago Boys High School. 

Before he died, he wrote a diary. And we read his diary entry, and the class thought it was a bit boring. So we have been making our on diary entries, and we came up with a chart of descriptive words to use for our diary entries.


_________________________________________________________________

This is my diary entry..!


As I lay deadly, wounded on the ground. The sounds of blood dripping off me silently, I cry to myself. In pain. 

The foggy wind surrounds my body. As I hear bones breaking, I touch my violin and play a string. 

All I hear is painful screams, and loud booming explosions dropping from dusty rotten bomber plains, louder than the loudest string of my violin. 

I can hear soldiers tip toeing by me as I crawl around sluggishly. 

I slowly blink and see soldiers hiding in bushes. I look up, and get blinded by the flashing gun shots. I blink slowly again, as my eyes water from the foggy wind. My fingers are numb, and I shiver.  

As I see rancid dead people, I crawl to a cave. And I lay in a warm, comfortable spot quietly. And take deep breaths.


1 comment:

  1. Hi Mya,
    I really like how descriptive your writing was. I like how you put a lot of descriptive words that would help see what was happening. I like how you used short sentences too. I also like how you compared other stuff with the violin.
    - Talia

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